Hi, my name is Shahla and I’m a control seeker, freak, and craver, and am in recovery for my tendencies.
I wish I could say that’s a joke or meant to be funny, but the truth hurts sometimes. There are areas of my life that I still desperately try to hold on to. Anyone else?
In reality, there is very little I have control over. I’ll share more on that below, but first, let me share where you could mostly like find my name in the dictionary.
There are five definitions for control. Here are two that I could stick to my forehead.
-to exercise restraining or directing influence over
-to reduce the incidence or severity of especially to innocuous (harmless) levels
Let me know if this resonates with you like it does with me.
The first definition is the one where I give my opinions and/or lists of reasons for or against something, sometimes (or maybe a lot of times) without being asked.
This is also where I tell God my multiple ideas on how He could/should solve a problem.
The second definition is one where I put on my ‘fixer’ hat. I try to solve the problem without seeking God first.
I think if I just do this or that it will help or minimize the impact. I try to fix and sometimes (or maybe a lot of times) I enable or delay.
If I really think about either scenario noted above, I chuckle and groan thinking God must do the same.
He must chuckle at me and think “sweet girl, why do you not trust Me? Have I not proven faithful? I don’t need your opinion or solutions, I knew the answer before you were even aware. Now let go.”
He must groan at me and think “sweet girl, why are trying to fix what only I can? If you accomplished or fixed all this you would receive the glory, not I, plus don’t I have the better plan? Now let go.”
How can something be so hard and yet so easy at the same time?!?!
Recognize how little control I have in the grander scheme of things.
For those of you that are like me, there are a few things we can control, albeit not the long list of areas we would like.
And for those of you who have no issues with control, here are some gentle reminders you may be able to share with the control seeker, freak, and craver in your life.
Here are three things I have control over-
- My effort- don’t quit, keep praying, keep being obedient, keep circling the wall. Remember on the 7th day the wall fell because the Israelites kept their effort and obedience despite not seeing anything on days 1-6.
“So on the second day they marched around the city once and returned to camp. They did this for six days.” Joshua 6:14
“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” Galatians 6:9
- My attitude- be humble, be kind, be patient; have an attitude like Christ…Don’t forget, trusting God is a choice. It’s a yes or no answer. It’s an attitude of the heart. He tells us to not look at our understanding.
“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.” Philippians 2:3-5
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
- My thoughts- don’t let my thoughts get out of control (see what I did there); recognize underneath the desire to control is usually fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the ‘what if’, fear that God won’t do what needs to be done (or what I think is best.) All of these usually start when that one thought pops up in our mind.
“We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5
“Do not copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7
Lord, thank You for always being present, for always being powerful and in control of every detail.
Lord, forgive me for wanting control and for allowing fear to take hold. Give me gentle reminders that I should trust in You always, that nothing shocks or surprises You and that Your plan is always, always, always the better one. May my effort, attitude, and thoughts be surrendered to You. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
This weeks playlist: