When speaking of being right, I would say that at some point most people enjoy being right. I did with my husband not that long ago. Granted it was over who sang a song, but I was quick to go to the web and say “AHA! I was right!”

In that way being right and a little boastful may be relatively harmless. However, here’s a challenging question. How often do we feel this way, think this way or speak this way on deeper situations or heart matters?

Those moments when we’re feeling, speaking, or thinking we’re “AHA! I/they were right!” on our own behalf or on behalf of someone else. That’s when being right is not harmless, but destructive.

Destructive to our…

  • relationship with God
  • hearts
  • families
  • relationships
  • reputation

Here’s a way to take our temperature on being “right”-

  • Are we still recounting the details of the situation?
  • Are we focused more on the other person needing to see how wrong they are?
  • Are we replaying the conversation over and over?
  • Are we trying to justify or prove how right we are?
  • Are we trying to involve others on our side of being right?
  • Are we feeling self-righteousness in our ‘rightness’?

If any of those are at the forefront of our minds or heart, we’re more focused on being right than loving well.

“Sadly, we often fall into the trap of wanting to be right rather than wanting to love well.”

J. Daly

I’ve had that quote written in my Bible for years. It’s interesting how it has applied to different chapters in my life and the lives of my family over the years. Here’s another way to think about it, again a quote, this one from pastor Jentzen Franklin. “Do you want to be right or reconciled? Do you want to be hurt or healed?”

We all think that the other person should probably go first, that we have more time, and that it seems weak to just let go of being right, especially when we genuinely believe we are. But here’s the bottom line, God calls us to be reconciled to Him, and we can’t do that unless we are obedient and follow His instruction…

Even when it hurts.

Even when a fight seems lost.

Even when it seems to make no sense.

Once we start loving others the way Jesus asks us to, it changes our perspective and our focus from being right to loving well and moving forward. This world is temporary, but our words and actions in this world impact the next. With that in mind, what impact are we focused on?

God’s word does not say ‘be right above all,’ ‘make sure you prove your rightness,’ ‘only forgive if they admit your right.’ What it does say is…

“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Romans 15:5-6

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

May these truths settle within us. If being right has taken root in our hearts as pride, unforgiveness or as a recordkeeper, may we change directions and remember these scriptures as our foundation for what is truly right.

Lord, thank you for putting Your love into action by shedding your blood for us despite our failings. Lord, help us to see others through Your eyes, keep our hearts clean, our spirits humble and transform our hurts into hope. When we focus on being our version of right rather than being like You, remind us of Your word and Your call for obedience to forgive others in the same way You have offered us forgiveness. When we focus more on being right than Your word, convict us. We ask for healing and revelation in any heart, relationship, or situation where the enemy has set up the “I’m right” camp. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

This week’s playlist:

Ceasefire – King & Country

Even When It Hurts – Hillsong

Faithful God – I AM THEY


  • Shahla Wright

    I’m a faith-filled believer in Jesus Christ. I’ve personally experienced his mercy and truth and want to encourage others to have a relationship with Him. My husband Albert and I are empty nesters with two adult children. My heart is happiest on our back patio, enjoying quality time with family, relaxing in the sunshine, and appreciating beautiful flowers. I love the Lord and hope at the end of the race, I hear, “Well done, daughter”.

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