When comparing apples to oranges it’s a word that makes sense.
When comparing ourselves against someone else it’s a word that makes no sense.
Measuring ourselves in comparison with others is not what God wants for us.
I can say that with absolute certainty not only because of what the Lord says, which we’ll talk about but because I’m confessing this damaging behavior in my own life.
I’m not sure exactly how or when it happens but during at least one chapter in our lives most of us have compared ourselves in one form or another to someone else. Maybe a stranger, maybe a sister, maybe the person that’s the life of the party, maybe the woman on social media that seems to have it all together…after speaking with a couple of friends on the matter, I knew I wasn’t alone as we chatted about different ways comparison has popped up in our own lives. If you’ve ever had the comparison fever maybe one of these will resonate in your own life/heart.
- “I’m not qualified, I can’t do _________ like her”
- “She always looks so put together and I always look so blah.”
- “I know they like her more than me, everyone always says how kind she is.”
- “My personality isn’t like hers, I just can’t be outgoing like her.”
- “She’s so pretty in the face but thank goodness I don’t weigh that much.”
- “I wish my spiritual gifts were like hers.”
- “I’d rather have my gift of compassion than her gift of administration.”
- “My kids would never _________.”
- “I would never treat someone the way she treated me.”
- “Her story isn’t that bad, I’ve been hurt worse.”
- “Look at her perfect family, her husband comes to church with her every Sunday.”
- She’s the Betty Crocker and Martha Stewart mom. I am sooo not.”
Did any of those sound like a familiar voice in your own head? Did any sting, just a little? Is there one not listed but in your heart you know is something you’ve been comparing?
I’ll openly share that over the years comparison has crept into different relationships and situations. It’s a bonafide sickness.
Here’s the good news. We have a choice.
It may be a minute by minute, day by day choice, but we get to choose whether we allow this sickness in ourselves. We do not have to be stuck with the comparison fever. It is in no way, shape or form, how God desires us to see ourselves or see others.
El Roi, the One who sees, sees me, all of me and still chooses me. He sees you, all of you and chooses you too.
My story matters for His purpose.
Your story does too.
He loves me uniquely.
He loves you uniquely too.
Over the years God has worked on me with this topic and then one day while walking on a beach collecting shells as a breeze blew over me, I felt the Lord give me a little pat and chuckle. He said “my darling girl if I made every seashell unique why would I have done any less with My daughters (& sons).
This brought tears to my eyes it was such a sweet intimate moment between my Heavenly daddy and I.
I think His chuckle was in part because even though I had heard it a thousand times before it was then in that moment that it struck me differently, more deeply. Have you had a moment like that? Where on the 10th or 100th time something finally clicked in your spirit?
One of my favorite things about our God is that He is a forever and always truth speaker. He gave us scriptures that should serve as a cooling to our comparison fever.
Genesis 16:13
“She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.””
John 21:21-22
“When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.””
Galatians 6:4-5
“Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.”
Galatians 1:10
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
I’ll share one last treasure. I have kept this poem in a journal for years. I read it as a prayer for thankfulness and it helps me remember God sees me. I hope it reminds you, He sees you too.
The One Who Sees Me
By Gwen Smith
No matter where I am, Lord You see me
No matter where I’ve been, You’ve been there too
And even in the times I feel abandoned and alone You hold me like a child and draw me close to You
I lift my eyes to the One who sees me
No matter where I am
No matter where I am
I lift my soul to the One who lifts me with a loving hand
No matter where I am I’m turning to The One who sees me
No matter what I say, Lord You hear me
No matter where I go, You’re by my side
You love me with Your words, passionate and kind
Even my darkest place is illuminated by Your grace I am so amazed
You Lord see me
This weeks playlist:
Details
Sarah Reeves
Overcomer
Mandisa
God Help Me
Plumb
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